This holiday season is our first without our sweet baby Chase. Though he watches from heaven, and he never had the opportunity be here with us for Christmas, we know that this would have been his first. It has been very important to me to find a way to remember him that is unique and special. I listen to our local contemporary Christian radio station called 89.3 KSBJ. Every year they do the KSBJ Giving Tree where families in need can be nominated to receive help or gifts from listeners. KSBJ posts the needs on their website so listeners can select a way to help. What is so great is that this opens up opportunities for people to help who don’t necessarily have a lot of money, but who have special talents they can give. For example, I heard about an elderly woman who needed some general work repairs done to her home, so a general handyman selected her need and did the repairs on her house for free.
Part of what feels weird about Chase’s loss is that under different circumstances, I would be buying him all kinds of cute baby toys and clothes for Christmas. He would have been 9 months on December 23, 2011. I decided that one of the best ways to remember Chase would be to buy him presents anyway. But because he isn’t here on this earth with us, I would find another baby who needed them. That’s what will make Chase smile in heaven. It just so happened that on the KSBJ Giving Tree was a need for a high school aged single mom who had an 11 month old little boy and no money to give him a nice Christmas. The young girl is still in school and plans to get her diploma, but life has not been easy.
I told the kids about this – and they were fully on board. I bought a little tree for Chase that I plan to put up every year next to our big tree. This is where we will put all of his presents each year. Madison went shopping with me. She was so happy going through the aisles and picking out things for baby Chase. I admit that I went completely overboard and probably spent more on him than I did my other kids. But it was his first Christmas after all. And I miss him so much. I was also worried that because Madi was barely three, she would not understand what we were doing and why. But she got it – she really did. I am so blessed.
So we were able to make Christmas special for a special little boy who needed our help – and we were able to remember our sweet angel in heaven in a very special way.